Friday, January 27, 2012

A Witch Hunter, really?

For those of you who missed the latest. "how weird can Texas get these days," bit of news, a Nigerian witch hunter is going to be in the lone star state for almost 2 weeks in March of this year.  Seriously, here's a link, and another one.  Maybe, since the witch hunter is from Nigeria, she doesn't know this country had a pretty serious psychological scar as far as witch trials go, about 420 years ago.  Yes, even before the Unites States became a country, it got witch hunting out of it's system, except for a few lapses, here and there.  In fact, when the United States got around to writing a constitution and tacking on a bill of rights, the very first amendment starts off; "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof."  That's right, people in the states have the right to practice the religion of their choosing without fear of the government locking them up for not picking the approved one.  Sorry, just because someone disagrees with you about matters of the supernatural, you don't get to blame all your problems on them and have them locked up.  In fact, I would hazard to guess that the majority of Americans feel that the diversity of faiths in this country is one of it's strengths.  What better way is there to gauge how Americans feel about something than to see how it is depicted in the mass media?  It is in that spirit that I present my list of the top ten sexiest witches in film:

10.  Caleb Danvers played by Steven Straight in The Covenant(2006)  Yes, here is the token guy on the list.  Goes to show that men can play witches as well, they just don't get the opportunity to very often.

9.  Eva played by Ione Skye in Four Rooms(1995) There was a whole coven of witches to choose from in this film, so I went with the one who, rather literally, bewitches Ted the Bellhop.

8.  Serafina Pekkala played by EvaGreen in The Golden Compass(2007)  While certainly a supporting character in this film, she still has quite the screen presence.

7.  Lamia played by Michelle Pfeiffer in Stardust(2007)  I imagine if most people saw Michelle Pfeiffer on this list, they would have thought of The Witches Of Eastwick.  Well, it's my list and I went with Stardust, besides the list needs a few bad witches, doesn't it?

6.  Mirror Queen played by Monica Bellucci in The Brothers Grimm(2005)  Right to another bad witch.  While I did try and base this list off the character and not necessarily the actor, in this case I may have been influenced by Ms. Bellucci's performance in Brotherhood of the Wolf.

5.  Gillian Owens played by Nicole Kidman in Practical Magic(1998)  Okay, you could go back and forth as to whether I should have gone with Sandra Bullock's character from this film, but I decided to go with the taller one.

4.  Ann played by Melissa McConnell in Ninjas VS Vampires(2010)  The list needed an over the top, spell flinging, vampire killing witch and this movie provided one.  The only downside is since the movie is Ninjas vs Vampires, the witch doesn't get nearly enough screen time.

3.  Cassandra Nightingale played by Catherine Bell in The Good Witch(2008)  Catherine Bell is just utterly charming as the witch next door in this picture.  If you think made for television movies don't count, then you'll dislike. . .

2.  Morgaine played by Julianna Margulies in The Mists of Avalon(2001)  If Four Rooms presented a coven of witches, then this feature had more Pagans than you could shake a wand at.  In this version, Morgaine is the character that the Arthurian tragedy gets to revolve around.

1. Patricia Kennealy played by Kathleen Quinlan in The Doors(1991)  How to you take sex, drugs and rock and roll and make it sexier?  Well, plugging in witchcraft certainly worked for Oliver Stone in this movie.

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